Low-surface-energy plastics are ubiquitous in modern society. Various forms of polyethylene (including LDPE, LLDPE, HDPE, UHMWPE, PEX, etc.) and polypropylene (BOPP and CPP) together constitute the most abundantly produced polyolefins on Earth,1 and these polymers are highly valued for their combination of good mechanical strength, low density, and—most importantly—low cost.2,3 As a result, they are used in everything from automotive manufacturing and construction to consumer products, surgical implants, and product packaging.4–6